Stage 5 of 6
0 done
Stage five
The team feels the shift
Days 90 to 180
The loop changes on your side first. This stage is where the people around you stop waiting for the old version of you.
Your team has been trained by the old habit for years. Ninety days of new behavior does not undo that on its own. They test it.
We coach the handoff out loud: telling your team what you are changing and asking them to hold the line when you slip back.
This is where dependence turns into ownership. Not because you told them to own it, but because you stopped taking it back.
Run it: step by step
0 of 5 checked
1. Say it to your team
10 min, in a team meeting
- · Name the habit, not the theory. 'I take things over when they get messy. I am working on it.'
- · Say what you want instead: 'Bring me the messy version. I will ask questions before I touch it.'
- · No apology tour. One paragraph, then move on with the meeting.
Say it like this
“You are not confessing. You are telling them the rules changed so they stop playing by the old ones.”
2. Give them the word
5 min
- · Agree on one short phrase anyone can say when you slip. 'You're pouncing.' 'That's yours or mine?'
- · Thank the first person who uses it, in front of everyone. That moment decides whether anyone uses it again.
- · Never explain why you slipped in that moment. Just hand it back.
3. Hand back one thing
30 min
- · List what you are carrying that someone else could own. Pick the one you are most nervous about.
- · Hand it over with the outcome, the constraints, and the date. Not the method.
- · Put one check-in on the calendar and stay out of it until then. Do not 'just glance.'
4. Watch what comes back
Ongoing, 30 days
- · Track how often people bring you a decision versus a decision they already made.
- · When someone decides without you and it works, say so publicly.
- · When someone decides without you and it misses, ask what they would do differently. Do not take it back.
5. Ask your team, not yourself
20 min, week 8
- · Three anonymous questions: What has changed? What has not? What are you still waiting for permission on?
- · Read the answers out loud to the team without defending any of them.
- · Pick one thing from the list and change it that week.
What you need in the room
- · Ten minutes on a team meeting agenda
- · One agreed phrase the team can say to you
- · A short anonymous form for week eight
Debrief questions
- · Who used the phrase first, and how did you react?
- · What did you take back after handing it over?
- · What is your team still waiting for permission on?
How this stage gets wrecked
The quiet take-back
You hand it over, then you fix it at 10pm without telling anyone. The team notices every time. If you take something back, say out loud that you took it back and why. Otherwise they learn the handoff was theater.
Before the next stage
Thirty days of not touching the thing you handed back. That is the whole test.
What each leader does
- · Tell your team, in plain words, the habit you are changing.
- · Give them permission to name it when you slip.
- · Hand back one thing you have been quietly carrying.
How you know it landed
Someone on your team solves something they would have brought to you.